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Friday, 8 November 2013

YESHIVA BOCHUR: Child of FGP (Frum Gay Parent)

I am studying in yeshiva. I am a chassidishe bochur and I am serious about my learning. I am nineteen years old. One of my parents is gay. I feel lucky to be away from home, because some of my other siblings are still home, being part of it every day and I don't think I could handle that.

It is very awkward for me. I don't tell the other bochurim, because they would think I am also gay or that my family is messed up. I told my best friend, and he thought it was okay. He didn't really care about it at all. That was surprising.

When I first found out that one of my parents is gay, I went to my Rosh Yeshiva and I asked him what I should do. He said I shouldn't do anything. He said I shouldn't argue or try to convince anyone to behave differently. He said that person is still my parent and that being gay doesn't mean that my parent is a bad parent.

But I worry that I won't get the same kind of shidduch that I might have gotten if both my parents were normal. I know everything (including my shidduch) is in H-shem's hands, but regular frum people aren't going to like having their daughter go to a house were there are gay people.

I also worry that it will affect my younger siblings, and that they won't stay frum because of it. I want them to stay frum, and I want my family to stay the way it always was. I don't want us to be the nebbech case that everyone has to pity or whisper about.

I still love my parent who is gay. I don't care about the gayness. Well, I do care, but it doesn't stop me loving my parent.